The Witty Caption Competition Thread

[Matty]

Lets have at a few non photoshopped pictures and see if we can create a few funnies.
Winner is decided by the poster of the picture,
winner gets to post the next picture
if a reasonable amount of time, say 1 day, elapses with no declared winner then next person to post a picture gets it.

lets see how we go.
http://www.angryconservative.com/home/Portals/0/Blog/Russia/Putin_Russia_Missile_Returns.jpg

since the end of teh cold war, the top job in a world nuclear superpower armed forces isnt quite what it once was......

this seasons hottest gadget for the world domination minded, the i-nuke, really seperates the true leaders from the wannabees..

[Garnet]

I gotta cure for your roids right here!

[Richard]

Let's go play with my toy Rocket!

[The 800# Gorilla]

I think not Comrade. My rocket "IS" bigger than yours.

[Resident Troll]

Is that a rocket in your pocket or are you glad to see me?

[ravenscape]

In Soviet Russia, rocket launches YOU!

[Matty]

i think Resident Troll. your pic rt.

[Resident Troll]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v636/raven_s/grunt.jpg

[Richard]

(pushes real hard) its coming, its coming...

[Flying Buttress]

heee heee heee ho!

heee heee heee ho!

[Matty]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v636/raven_s/grunt.jpg

No matter how hard he tried, poor retarded George was always the last one in the class to find Wally


Thats right. this is all for your own good, now concentrate, George, concentrate. You tell us what the capital of Moldova is or we're gonna have to zap you again.


And the Winner of Constipated Chimp Idol 2007 ................................

[Resident Troll]

Richard wins.

Your turn :)

[The 800# Gorilla]

Enough said?

http://www.patrickgibson.com/news/andsuch/bush_monkey.jpg

[Resident Troll]

I do believe you've found the missing link

[Richard]

Next Picture...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v230/blakke/funny0472.jpg

[Flying Buttress]

I am speechless. Guess I have to sit this one out.

[Garnet]

Penis goes where???

[Matty]

Little johnny didnt get the comments from passers by about his girlfriend going down on him, but she was great fun in the pool.

[Richard]

haha, I thought it was a little awful. It was late at night. I'll give it to Matty just so we can change the picture ;)

[Matty]

Cool. i used this one in another thread and thought it had potential . Doesnt the guy look a bit like Tom Cruise (hint hint)

http://www.northerntool.com/images/product/images/45088_lg.jpg

[Flying Buttress]

Ok girls, hold 'er steady and I'll launch this love bomb to the crowd. It will be wild and woolly baby! Wild and Woolly!

[Matty]

http://www.northerntool.com/images/product/images/45088_lg.jpg

It all got a bit sad when Tom decided to take unilateral action outside the US National Society of Psychiatry headquarters, with just a couple of foxy, Xenu-friendly helpers, and a large bucket of his own poo.


Looking back, Tom finally remembered what happened to his sanity, he launched it into orbit in the summer of 1991

[Autodidact]

http://www.northerntool.com/images/product/images/45088_lg.jpg



Here, former Governor Mit Romney demonstrates proper control technique for multiple wives.

[yay! There's a caption contest! :banana:]

[Matty]

cool, a bit more interest, and from a respected veteren no less!!!

Auodiadact, its really good to see you. :wave:
Go on, post a pic, you know you want to.:)

[Autodidact]

Yahoo! It's good to be here. (Although Matty's caption was funnier, I take what I can get.)
http://paulbuckley14059.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/eliot_spitzer.jpg

[Matty]

And this is how much success i had exporting my same sex marriage legislation to Alabama.

Take THAT mAnne Coulter, i crush your little head........

[Flying Buttress]

9 inches! I tell you my pocket python is 9 inches long baby!

[ravenscape]

It's only a tiny bit of adultery.

[Matty]

ohh has he been done ofr adultery, i didnt know that (i had to look up who it was tbh)


"I swear i only put it in this far"

[Autodidact]

http://paulbuckley14059.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/eliot_spitzer.jpg

"Many Americans have been wondering, why would I pay for sex? Allow me to explain..."

[Autodidact]

You've got about ten minutes to post a better caption or I'm declaring myself the winner.

[Autodidact]

That's it, you lose. See if you can do better on this one:

http://www.aolcdn.com/aolmovies/28-weeks-later-insert-caption-433

[Flying Buttress]

Hortense was relieved to see the screen had been removed; lessening the likelihood she would strain herself should be decide to leap through the window.

[Autodidact]

That's it, you lose. See if you can do better on this one:

http://www.aolcdn.com/aolmovies/28-weeks-later-insert-caption-433

Help! Help! Someone named Michael has kidnapped me and is droning on and on about God knows what. All I've eaten for days is pizza and chianti. Won't someone help me, please!

[Matty]

http://www.aolcdn.com/aolmovies/28-weeks-later-insert-caption-433
You too can recreate the 9/11 experience from the comfort of your own home........


hey, no one ever said it had to be a tasteful caption, did they? :p

[Autodidact]

hey, no one ever said it had to be a tasteful caption, did they? :p Bonus points for lack of taste.

[GodfreyTemple]

http://www.aolcdn.com/aolmovies/28-weeks-later-insert-caption-433

Help!

Someone sprayed 3M Super77 on the window and then waved at me from outside!

And Now I'm stuck!!!

...

Is that coffee from Dunkin' DonutsTM?

[Autodidact]

Winner is Matty. Extra points to Flying Buttress for stupid pun.

[Matty]

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44498000/jpg/_44498650_mucca_gettygall1.jpg

[Autodidact]

Jesus elected to return to earth in London yesterday, this time as a woman, and gave a well-attended press conference. "This time would you bloody write it down?" she demanded. "I don't care who you bugger; just love one another."

[Matty]

Ms MIlls, what do you say to your Come Dancing critics who said your backstep was somewhat wooden?

[Matty]

is there any truth to the rumour that the reason for the divorce was because you would only swim anti clockwise in the pool?

[Flying Buttress]

The judges of the microphone deep-throating contests all held out their instruments to Ms. Mills, who eagerly opened her mouth.

[Matty]

:D heheh thats more like it.

[Matty]

Just think if i had my leg i might have gotten 60 million, thats about 20% extra isnt it?

And to those of you sceptics who said i didnt have a leg to stand on.......

And i would just like to say that Sir Paul is as good in the sack as Ringo was on the drums........

OK gratuious one leg Mills jokes out of the way, go on then FB, new PIC please.

[Flying Buttress]

http://inlinethumb45.webshots.com/14572/1118147399025849904S425x425Q85.jpg (http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/1118147399025849904hEOPhX)

[Matty]

Much as one loves to do these public walkabout thingies, the poor do whiff a bit dont they.


Upon being told that she appears to be sporting an ugly bit of off colur detritus, Liz mistakenly presumes they meant a booger, when in fact they meant Prince Phillip.


Having being told that Edward has finally come out of the closet, the Queen reluctantly gives the secret Princess Assasination Signal once more, .

[Flying Buttress]

Ambidextrous though she was, retrieving the nose flute would be tricky.

[GodfreyTemple]

http://inlinethumb45.webshots.com/14572/1118147399025849904S425x425Q85.jpg (http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/1118147399025849904hEOPhX)

And now, a Monarch with a tape recorder up her nose...

[Matty]

shortly after this picture was taken, her maj was seen discreetly wiping her finger down the back of Di's little black Chanel number

[Matty]

one does wish one had remembered ones coke spoon. ah there we go that hits ones fucking spot.

[VenDexter]

Her majesty does little to dispel the myth that royalty are "stuffy" blue-bloods.

[Flying Buttress]

I like the blue-blood one, but I'm going to have to give this to Matty for the Prince Phillip - booger line. ;p

[Matty]

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h132/Northwest-Boy/weird-pierced-peoples-wallpaper1.jpg

[Garnet]

Fucking YIKES!

(Not a caption, just a comment....)

[Flying Buttress]

I'll echo that sentiment

FUCKING YIKES

[GodfreyTemple]

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h132/Northwest-Boy/weird-pierced-peoples-wallpaper1.jpg

I got soooo drunk last night.

...

Why are you looking at me like that?

[ravenscape]

"I know you, you won't actually flip the switch on that 2 ton electromagnet."

[PostMortem]

"Whad'ya mean I set the metal detector off?"

[Matty]

Amy Winehouse - The later Years

Shortly after this picture was taken, Needle Girl wandered into a recycling plant and was never seen again

Shortly after this picture was taken, Needle Girl took a stroll in an electrical storm and was never seen again


Most people are a little taken aback when they meet ToM in the flesh for the first time. .........

[PostMortem]

"Hey everyone! Look at me, LOOK AT ME!!!!

[Autodidact]

Matty, you accidentally posted a picture of yourself again. You need to submit a pic for the caption contest.

[Matty]

shhhh, no one knows i use the picture of the blonde bloke only as a smokescreen.
Its actually a pretty rare photo of me in denim cos i usually only wear skin tight lycra catsuits.


I'll go with ravenscape or godfrey, both made me chuckle,
first to post a pic.

[Matty]

OKay, no takers,

first out of anyone to post a pic.

[PostMortem]

OK I'll do it.

http://www.myspaceantics.com/images/funny/porn-loving-nun.jpg

[Garnet]

Will you look at the size of that dick!!!

[Autodidact]

"Heh, heh, the Monsignor doesn't know I'm logged on to TalkRational."

[Flying Buttress]

Sister Agatha licked her lips at the sight of Matty's tattooed face with its multiple piercings, knowing he likely hard other piercings lower down...

[Goldie]

Sister Agatha was thrilled to find rulers for half price at Overstock.com

[Droopy]

"Why you think the net was born? Porn porn porn!"

[Autodidact]

"O.K. 'Well-endowed co-ed seeks open-minded dudes for fun and frolic; please send pic.' Sounds good, now I'll hit send."

[Monad]

Yahoo! It's good to be here. (Although Matty's caption was funnier, I take what I can get.)
http://paulbuckley14059.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/eliot_spitzer.jpg

Don't worry taxpayers - she only charged by the inch

[Monad]

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h132/Northwest-Boy/weird-pierced-peoples-wallpaper1.jpg

Do you think this lipstick colour suits me?

[Ray Moscow]

That's it, you lose. See if you can do better on this one:

http://www.aolcdn.com/aolmovies/28-weeks-later-insert-caption-433

Help! Someone put superglue in the Windex bottle!

[Monad]

OK I'll do it.

http://www.myspaceantics.com/images/funny/porn-loving-nun.jpg

Sister Mary is thankful to God for granting her the wisdom to accumulate several hours worth of proactive penance before surfing the interracial gangbanging sites.

[Ray Moscow]

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h132/Northwest-Boy/weird-pierced-peoples-wallpaper1.jpg

Yes, it hurt like hell sometimes, but it was worth it to see the look on the faces of visiting Jehovah Witnesses.

[Monad]

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h132/Northwest-Boy/weird-pierced-peoples-wallpaper1.jpg

People ask me if this hurts and I always tell them - once you've got 10 heavy steel rings hanging from your labia and 2 electrified spikes rammed through your clit, you tend not to notice.

[Autodidact]

http://www.myspaceantics.com/images/funny/porn-loving-nun.jpg

I can't wait to go to confession this week, Father won't believe the great bukkake site I found.

[Autodidact]

Too slow, Post Mortem, alley alley oxen free for pics, anyone. Post away.

[Monad]

http://www.bmezine.com/news/jimward/9/surprise.jpg

[Goldie]

And so... Fuzzy's obsession began.
(see previous picture to see how it ends)

[Autodidact]

The transition to woman hood started strangely for Francine, once a balding hairy guy named Frank.

[Luis Garcia]

Graham injects John with anti-ferret serum. (http://home.wanadoo.nl/de.fret/media/ferret.mp3)

[Flying Buttress]

Travis sighed with relief when Doctor Dumphart reattached the nipple that had been bitten off by a beaver.

[Monad]

And so... Fuzzy's obsession began.
(see previous picture to see how it ends)

Winner - Extra point for getting my link :)

[Goldie]

Winner - Extra point for getting my link :)

Thank you! *takes bow*

Now... photobucket is being weird, so someone else will have to post a picture.
I am sure you are not lacking any.:D

[The 800# Gorilla]

http://www.dumbphotos.com/images/People/205-hugemuscles.jpg

[Goldie]

See kids?
This is what happens when you stick your thumb into your mouth and blow.

[Autodidact]

Is that a photo-shop? I propose a no photo-shop image rule.

[Autodidact]

http://www.dumbphotos.com/images/People/205-hugemuscles.jpg

"No Senator, I have never used steroids."

[Matty]

Is that a photo-shop? I propose a no photo-shop image rule.

Indeed. I made a point of it in the OP

Lets have at a few non photoshopped pictures and see if we can create a few funnies.Winner is decided by the poster of the picture, .

We're all smart enough to not need such contrived things as photo shop, i have every expectation that we can turn any genuine photo to pure filthy innuendo and tasteless bitching in no time at all. . :D

[The 800# Gorilla]

Matty. :p

http://www.dumbphotos.com/images/People/grandmas.jpg

[Matty]

Just the one finger? I could have sworn your mom liked lots more than that last time.......

:p


I would like to nominate that pic as the next for the captions though, awesome potential.

[Goldie]

Yo Mama?

Someone should start a thread.:p;)

[ravenscape]

http://www.dumbphotos.com/images/People/205-hugemuscles.jpg

Spiderman was lucky. I was bitten by a radioactive pillbug.

[Autodidact]

Alright, do-overs. Various events above seem to have brought this important thread to a standstill, so forget all that, and let's start over with a new image. O.K.? Here we go:

http://amysrobot.com/files/mccain_grimace.JPG

[Matty]

This time around, the crowd at Bobs Country Bunker, made sure to remove the chicken wire before the gig.



Taking their cue from the pikey crowd at Daphne and Celeste's Glastonbury's 98 gig, the invited political correspondents came to hte question time session well armed with uncapped bottles of warm piss.....



Being unable to bear poor retarded George's 150th attempt to pronounce "Unilateral Nuclear Disarmament" correctly, McCain slips over the edge into his "safe place"


And during the speech, there was an unanticipated exchange when Senator MCCain seemed unable to contain the urge to scream loudly STOP IT, JUST FUCKING STOP IT YOU FUCKING RETARDED CUNT, ITS PRONOUNCE NUC-LE-AR, NOT FUCKING NUKE-YOU-LAR YOU FUCKING MORON, GGGGGAAAAAAHHHHHHGH, FUCK.

[Goldie]

McCain's had an emotional outburst, yelling, "I CAN FEEL IT!" after receiving the Holy Spirit during a "laying on of hands" by President Bush.

[Thalia Thinks]

McCain, "Damn Bush. He put laxatives in my coffee!"

[Autodidact]

Alright, do-overs. Various events above seem to have brought this important thread to a standstill, so forget all that, and let's start over with a new image. O.K.? Here we go:

http://amysrobot.com/files/mccain_grimace.JPG

"I hereby anoint you President, in Jaysus' name!"
"Hallelujah!"

[Flying Buttress]

No More Pretzels!

[Goldie]

LOL@Auto & FB! :)

[Autodidact]

Well, waiting longer doesn't look like it's going to get any more answers. Winner is Goldie.

[Matty]

fuck it. I'll post a new one. I refuse to let this game die.
http://www.churchofthecustomer.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/09/14/1970s.jpg

[The 800# Gorilla]

Oh shit. South West airlines again!

[Matty]

US Air introduces new measures to out undercover muslim fanatics before the plane even leaves the tarmac.


Yes sir that IS what the Captain said, "Welcome to Kansas please remember to set your watch back 45years."


Back in the days before LCD screens in the back of every seat, airline entertainment was a lot more straightforward.



You should see what they dont wear in business class

[Mason]

"Hey what's up?"

LOL!!! :p

[Thalia Thinks]

"The steward behind me really thinks you're cute but don't tell him I gave you his number"

[Autodidact]

Greyhound Bus Lines start a new marketing campaign to attract more riders.

[Autodidact]

Sorry, sir, I can only give you a lapdance. For a blowjob, you have to ride Business Class.

[Garnet]

Sorry, sir, I can only give you a lapdance. For a blowjob, you have to ride Business Class.

^^^ :D

[Wally]

This is my husbands phone number... if he says it's okay with him....

[GodfreyTemple]

Well sir, they're not called "stop-stop boots", now are they?

[Matty]

Like that one, though hon men to the blowjob one too.

Godfrey your pic, if nothing happens in a while then Autodiadict is next up.

[Autodidact]

The competition is pretty stiff around here. Can you work with this?

http://www.crystalinks.com/sand_sculpture.jpg

[Matty]

Would all those named Sandy please turn and face the camera.


Yawn i feel sleepy for some reason.


As the beach rapture approaches, the inhabitants turn and face the oncoming Apocalypse, this time death is personified in the shape of a toddler with a bucket and spade.

[ravenscape]

The sandmen, having taken to high ground, turned back to face the incoming tide with stoic resignation.

[Wally]

The Clinton campaign at its best.

[Autodidact]

The congregation of the New Life Church patiently awaited the appointment of their new pastor.

[dug_down_deep]

Newly Discovered Prototypes Prove Creationism Is True!

[Goldie]

Viva Viagra!


(ETA: they just looked rather stiff.)

[Goldie]

This particular group of spectators ban "The Wave"

[Thalia Thinks]

It's not nice to fool god"

[Matty]

oh, good angle.


Having shouted out " Hey You there on the beach" in a very loud voice, that sadistic fucker God was only too pleased when everyone looked back over their shoulder

This particular group of spectators ban "The Wave" heheh. good one

[Thalia Thinks]

At least when people were being turned into pillars of salt it was useful. What are we suppose to do with all this damn sand?

[Autodidact]

Winner is Goldie for "The Wave." Also liked "Sandy" (dumb--I love dumb) and my own New Life Church congregation. Got a pic, Goldie?

[Goldie]

Winner is Goldie for "The Wave." Also liked "Sandy" (dumb--I love dumb) and my own New Life Church congregation. Got a pic, Goldie?

Thank you.:D
But, alas... I have no picture. Photobucket is tweeking.
Please...someone else do the honors.:notworthy:

[Matty]

http://home.att.net/~chuckayoub/strange_days.jpg

[Ray Moscow]

The chronic tent shortage begins to take its toll on circus venues.

[Autodidact]

The Clinton campaign staff met over the weekend to plan strategy for the Pennsylvania primary.

[Autodidact]

AIG undertakes new scientific research program.

[Matty]

outside the jail, Hovinds friends and family try deperately to make the long long decade pass that little more quickly.

AIG undertakes new scientific research program.

heh. Peach.

[Matty]

its amazing what reaction the mere mention of VARVES can provoke amongst the atheist community.

[dug_down_deep]

Welcome to the First Annual RnR Kewl Kids Meetup!

[Autodidact]

The Mime Liberation Front plans silent protest.

[Autodidact]

The Beijing olympics will include several new events.

[Thalia Thinks]

Welcome to the First Annual RnR Kewl Kids Meetup!

I like.:D

[Matty]

yeah me too, though that was a peach all round tbh.

your pic dug

[Mason]

All eyes were on the weightlifter and the child, but no one noticed as the woman in the back flew in to carry off a mime for dinner later that night.

[dug_down_deep]

Heh. Good one, Mason. :D

Here's the next one.

http://www.oddee.com/_media/imgs/articles/a104_s16.jpg

[Wally]

Frat says: "Sorry Charlie."

[Matty]

someone get that motherfucking shark off this motherfucking plane



even having taken the extreme steps to move to 14 Honeydew Lane-Chichester from Ice Flow 174- Antartcia, Mr and Mrs Seal finally had to admit that whilst they can run, they sure cant hide.



News just in. Great White Shark Converts to Islam.

[dug_down_deep]

How long should I wait to declare a winner?

[Matty]

up to you. i usually just go on how quickly things are moving.

[Nialler]

Waking up to a faint fishy aroma in the room, Jim checked under the covers. Nope, his wife was wearing pyjamas. He turned over for another snooze. It was probably only the neighbours cooking kippers for breakfast.

[Nialler]

Having run out of human guinea pigs, Balco surreptitiously tested their new range of performance-enhancers at the local aquarium. They seemed to work.

[Autodidact]

"Land shark."

[Autodidact]

"Just when you thought it was safe to go to bed in your own quiet semi-detached terraced flat."

[Autodidact]

The British government yesterday announced testing of a new short range missile. Results were mixed.

[Autodidact]

"Jaws IV--The Nightmare Continues"

[Autodidact]

"Shark? What shark? I didn't notice a shark sticking out of a hole in the roof, did you?"

[Matty]

Waking up to a faint fishy aroma in the room, Jim checked under the covers. Nope, his wife was wearing pyjamas. He turned over for another snooze. It was probably only the neighbours cooking kippers for breakfast.

:D for sheer taste.

"Just when you thought it was safe to go to bed in your own quiet semi-detached terraced flat." fixed it. Nice go though.
nitpick .That pic is a terrace, a semi is only two houses linked by a common wall.

[Autodidact]

btw, Nialler, nice to see you! Can we continue our torrid affair? [the post-er formerly known as TomboyMom] And I see you're still beating me in the caption contest, cursed be your name.

[dug_down_deep]

You guys all had me rolling. You're a funny group. :D

No favoritism to a fellow mod, I promise. But this one made me laugh out loud.
News just in. Great White Shark Converts to Islam.

Back to you.

[Matty]

thanks.
http://www.waterwinterwonderland.com/images/speedways/1652/a02%5EStrongman_pulling_pace_car_from_randy.jpg

[Wally]

Step 1: Remove fanbelt.

[Autodidact]

We caught one. Jimmy, you reel him in.

[Autodidact]

Early in the history of the automobile, after the invention of the body, but prior to the discovery of internal combustion, teenagers were forced to resort to paying circus strongmen to pull them round their cruising grounds.

[Autodidact]

(Naked guy on the left) "I told you kids to come home two hours ago. Now I'm taking you home whether you like it or not."

[GodfreyTemple]

*to the fellow in the shorts*
Are you ready?

Are you sure it's tied securely to your tooth?

*to the driver*
Okay, put in reverse and gun it.

[Goldie]

As gas prices soar, people like Gunter are in higher demand.

[Matty]

heh. good jobs all round.
Wide open, first to post a suitable pic.

[Autodidact]

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/R/e/1/mccain_bush_hug.jpg

[Wally]

I'll hate myself in the morning....
[guy in blue shirt]

[Garnet]

*shrieks, runs out of thread vowing never to return*

[Matty]

yessir, i'm gonna drink me a bunch of beers and go get me some bush......

[Goldie]

Bush was overheard asking, "Is that a pickle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

[rigorist]

Yup, smells like Teen Spirit alright.

[rigorist]

"Somebody toss me a towel--he's spitting up again."

[Wolfie]

Guy in the blue shirt is thinking: Distract with the left hand while the right hand gets the wallet...

[Wolfie]

"Mister President - it's now your turn in the snake pit! Praise the lord!"

[Matty]

Yup, smells like Teen Spirit alright.

heh. LOL.

[Ray Moscow]

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/R/e/1/mccain_bush_hug.jpg

Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

[Autodidact]

Winner is Goldie for finding the gay innuendo. (Yuck.)

[Nialler]

btw, Nialler, nice to see you! Can we continue our torrid affair? [the post-er formerly known as TomboyMom] And I see you're still beating me in the caption contest, cursed be your name.

Hi there! Of course we can continue!

[Goldie]

Winner is Goldie for finding the gay innuendo. (Yuck.)

Thank you... Please if someone else would post a pic for me?
Thanks

[Autodidact]

Well, this is timely. Can anyone work with it?

http://deseretnews.com/photos/midres/4624852.jpg

(p.s. That's Warren Jeffs on the left.)

[Autodidact]

Apparently not. O.K. fine, whatever. Try this:

http://www.afcministry.com/images/jsvision.jpg

[Wally]

Double your redemption, double your fun....

[GodfreyTemple]

And now, we sing!

[rigorist]

An alternate theory of varve formation.

[Matty]

http://www.afcministry.com/images/jsvision.jpg
In his lonely jail cell, Kent Hovind tries all manner of inventive fantasies in order to better
deal with the daily return of the blocks most notorious rapists, Shafty and Cockboy.


On his long awaited personal judgement day , Fred Phelps discovers that not only has he been wrong all these years, but that God also has a rather twisted sense of humour.


Look at this all you fucking muslims, we can paint two of our saviours without getting our panties in a bind.



Passion of the Christ II, from the award winning director of Twins.

[The 800# Gorilla]

Oy. I drank so much the now I see two of it.

[Ray Moscow]

Double your redemption, double your fun....

Damn -- you stole my line! :)

(Double your Saviours, double your fun ..)

[Autodidact]

You mean Jesus really DOES favor gay marriage?

[Ray Moscow]

Apparently not. O.K. fine, whatever. Try this:

http://www.afcministry.com/images/jsvision.jpg

The surviving clone Jesus's explain how they pulled off the crucifixion/resurrection gag. "Yes, we had to sacrifice one of us, but he wasn't much fun anyway."

[Autodidact]

Winner is Ray Moscow, as blasphemy is always worth extra points.

[Matty]

it was a sad day for humanity when Jesus watched the matrix trilogy

[Autodidact]

Ray too slow, open field for the first pic posted.

[Autodidact]

My patience ran out again. Try this:

http://www.bennyhinnbiography.com/broadcast-india.jpg

[Pan Narrans]

I find your lack of faith disturbing...

[B Cereus]

You're right! I can see God's underpants!!

[Wally]

You're right! I can see God's underpants!!

My vote for the winner!

[rigorist]

You're right! I AM God's underpants!!

[GodfreyTemple]

What's that wire for?

I see wires above the angels.

What does it mean??

[Matty]

http://www.bennyhinnbiography.com/broadcast-india.jpg

Thats right my dear. When the Jesus Bukkake session starts you must look to the heavens, just, like that and prepare to accept my blessed outpourings. I shall indeed see you later my dear, leave your number with teh minder, and please bring your daughter along too.


Its true, in these more enlightened days of the southern US, anyone can now gaze upon the wonder of Jesus, Even you blacks.

[Ray Moscow]

My patience ran out again. Try this:

http://www.bennyhinnbiography.com/broadcast-india.jpg

Now, for my next trick, I will remove this woman's brain through her nostrils.

(Whoops, that's just a booger.)

[Matty]

although soon copied by preachers worldwide, Benny was the very first to realise that the more you encourage the women of the congregation to eagerly raise their eyes towards heaven, the better glimpse of their tits you get when you look down their top.........

[Wally]

I assure you young lady, if He was returning, right now, I'd know.

[Ray Moscow]

Althought soon copied by preachers worldwide, Benny was the very first to realise that the more you encourage the women of the congregation to eagerly raise their eyes towards heaven, the better glimpse of their tits you get when you look down their top.........

Winner! But that's an old trick, actually. :D

[Autodidact]

Actually, winner is Ray Moscow again.

[Ray Moscow]

Well, if it's my turn, let's stay with the religious theme again:

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/8733/sikakanebaptismuz5.jpg

[Matty]

During the national rope shortage of 1954, Alabamans were forced to look at other practical solutions to the increasing numbers of those uppity black kids.....



mmm, you're a very flexible young man arent you..........



In a clever bit of semantic wrangling, Reverend Feeler realised he could never be accused of dry humping the congregation members again

[Ray Moscow]

Jimbo couldn't resist keeping a small one now and then.

or

Jimbo gradually learned to combine his love of children and watersports.

or

If I just keep this up, one day one of these peckerwoods is going to come up clean.

or,

Mister, are you SURE Jesus wants your hand on my butt?

[dug_down_deep]

Bob's first attempt to make sacrifice to Cthulhu in the submerged city of R'lyeh was ultimately frustrated by the victim's incessant giggling.

http://www.the-emperor.org/graphics/forticons/cthulhu_smiley.gif

[Autodidact]

This year at the Beijing games, a new event will combine synchronized swimming and ballroom dancing.

NAMBLA resorts to waterboarding.

"You're gonna accept Jesus if I have to kill you!"

Today in the news, new revelations about the Baptist Minister child sexual abuse scandal. Film at 5.

"Is that a pickle in your pocket or do you really, really love Jesus?"

[Matty]

heh. we're rolling now eh. lol.

[Jimmy_Mack]

Kid: "I am Pizuzu".

[Febble]

The Headington Shark doesn't need a caption. It's self-captioning.

One of its sources of inspiration was the bombing of Libya from British bases.

[Autodidact]

Kid: "I am Pizuzu".
reference for we ignorant, please?

[Wally]

Kid: "I am Pizuzu".
reference for we ignorant, please?

http://www.angelfire.com/rpg2/landofunicorns/men/Pizuzu.htm (http://www.angelfire.com/rpg2/landofunicorns/men/Pizuzu.htm)... this might be what you're after, seems to fit.

Cheers,
Wally

[Jimmy_Mack]

Kid: "I am Pizuzu".
reference for we ignorant, please?

Exorcist II: The Heretic. A black kid was possessed as he lay in a field plagued by locusts. He says to Merin in the typically evil voice: "I am Pizuzu". :D

[alien billie]

"And there's allegations of cheating in the final of the featherweight division of the Aquatic Thumb Wrestling Championships."

[Autodidact]

Ray? Call for Mr. Moscow.

[Ray Moscow]

Whazzup? Am I supposed to judge the winner?

In that case, I'll pick Matty's:

During the national rope shortage of 1954, Alabamans were forced to look at other practical solutions to the increasing numbers of those uppity black kids.....

[Ray Moscow]

Let's try another religious one:

http://www.harvestreport.net/dunagantrip/images/preaching.jpg

[Ray Moscow]

Brother Hovid's preaching improved greatly after his Scripture implant.

[dannyk]

"This is not a book on tax law.... I repeat not a book on tax law"

[Ray Moscow]

OK, maybe preachers aren't all that interesting after a while. Let's change to:

http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/8689/227071857b1db11ff5egb6.jpg

[Autodidact]

Bush twins on spring break.

[Matty]

http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/8689/227071857b1db11ff5egb6.jpg
Look, us fighting over Matty like this is daft, why dont we just make out and invite him to join in..............

piss off, i'm allowed to dream, arent i?

[Autodidact]

Queen of Swords and Autodidact's summer vacation.

[GodfreyTemple]

Attenborough: It's amazing what people will do to NOT have to choose the next image.

[Matty]

too long, must have pic. have at these assholes.

http://garlinggauge.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/ann-coulter-al-sharpton.jpg

[The 800# Gorilla]

I need a SPORK for my eyes.

[Jimmy_Mack]

Coulter's a coal burner. Pass it down.

[Autodidact]

After Clinton and Obama paved the way, the next Republican ticket was inevitable.

[GodfreyTemple]

too long, must have pic. have at these assholes.

http://garlinggauge.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/ann-coulter-al-sharpton.jpg

Ten seconds later the concentrated density caused the universe to collapse into a quantum singularity.

[Matty]

Having been repeatedly accused of being racist right wing minger, mAnne Coulter fights back by finding the only black guy she can really bear to hang out with long enough for a photo call.


If only she knew that hte "I fucked anne coulter in the ass hard" site was mine, i've been dreaming and hiding it all these years.



Al was happy to find an old friend at the republican party's Alabama convention, at the end of the day the stamp of blonde fascist acceptability meant he was at least one further step away from the burning cross and lynch mob than the rest of his brothers.


The republican parties very own modern US version of Cabaret gets off to a promising start.

[Thalia Thinks]

Is that a knife in my back or are you just happy to see me?

I wonder who has the bigger dick?

[Matty]

Jimmy Godfrey and Thalia cracked me

next one goes.

[Autodidact]

Strange bedfellows indeed.

[GodfreyTemple]

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20080321/i/r339675965.jpg?x=400&y=268&sig=hdXpF7LM8VzKDnge8K_rgw--

[Jimmy_Mack]

Dahli: "hey, where you going with my tie?"

[Wally]

... third in line, eh?

[Matty]

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20080321/i/r339675965.jpg?x=400&y=268&sig=hdXpF7LM8VzKDnge8K_rgw--

and when i am returned to tibet i will be able to afford my very own western woman, just like you, only pretty.


Tenzin Gyatzo his name was. Promised me the known world he did. I was to be taken to Kathmandu, House by the Forum.
Slaves. Yaks' milk. As much gold as I could eat. Then, he, having his way with me had. Voom! Like a rat out of an aqueduct.


Ten years after the introduction of a secular democracy to Tibet, it became increasingly sad when the old twat still wore all the garb like he was ever someone important.


You should have seen it. I kicked Ratzingers ass all round the Vatican. It was just like that bit in Game of Death only Ratty is no Chuck Norris, believe me.

[Thalia Thinks]

If it weren't for the shaven head and glasses they could be twins.

[GodfreyTemple]

Mr. Llama:

It's okay.
We'll find out which monk left the glue on the table-runner.

Look at the bright side...
Until we find some goo-gone, you look smashing.

[GodfreyTemple]

You should have seen it. I kicked Ratzingers ass all round the Vatican. It was just like that bit in Game of Death only Ratty is no Chuck Norris, believe me.

Matt wins for an unexpected Norris reference.

GO! :D

[dug_down_deep]

Matty's taking too long. ETA: You can still name the winner, though.

http://www.bizarrenews.com/extratoes/extratoes.JPG

[Matty]

Dammit. :D

"World first hobbit cloning experiments declared a success"

This is what hobbit buddhists do.

[Jimmy_Mack]

Remnants of the first "digital" revolution.

[Autodidact]

Matty's taking too long. ETA: You can still name the winner, though.

http://www.bizarrenews.com/extratoes/extratoes.JPG

And they say mutations can't result in new information. Humph.

[Autodidact]

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20080321/i/r339675965.jpg?x=400&y=268&sig=hdXpF7LM8VzKDnge8K_rgw--

The recent summit in Tibet ended in a square dance where much fun was had by all.

This week on "Random World Leaders Blind Dates..."

[Autodidact]

Too slow. How about this?

http://www.itsportnet.com/leagues/12293/graphics/Toothena%20The%20Tooth%20Fairy%20&%20Princess%20Michelle%201.JPG

[Jimmy_Mack]

Psychiatrist on right: "so the lithium doesn't seem to be helping you with the highs...."

[Matty]

No really i think that is the perfect outfit to wear to Charlton Hestons funeral, now give me a sec and i'll go thrown on my clown gear.

[Autodidact]

The BBC reporter was surprised to learn that dead princesses do become heavenly angels.

[Ray Moscow]

Sandy Duncan tries to reclaim Peter Pan spotlight

[Matty]

Keep those magazines away from me. Thats how they got mommy.


Much as she tried to change her non intellectual image by being interviewed in a bookshop, there was something subtle about Paris' body language that gave the game away.



So then i said to Peter, look you , why dont you grow the fuck up.............hahahahahahah