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Topic: el guano/tWe callout (Read 213 times) previous topic - next topic

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  • Bilirubin
  • Ain't nothing ta fuck wit'
el guano/tWe callout

  • el jefe
  • asleep till 2020 or 2024
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #1
nah, it's a fake

we can tell without even looking it up.  for one thing, it has a serial number starting with 10, and says it was filed in may 2017.  the 10 - series finished like 15 years ago.  we're up to the 15's now.

actually looking it up, in case obscure technicalities and/or unusual circumstances might have given them a 10 - series application all these years later.....     no....  there is an application with that number, and it was filed in 2002 and abandoned without publication in 2004.  the subject matter was not a mega guillotine.

  • nostrum
  • easily led
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #2
are you a lawyer, guapo?

  • el jefe
  • asleep till 2020 or 2024
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #3
nope

  • MikeB
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #4
If that is to scale I can see at a glance that there is not nearly enough blade weight, blade height at the right side, drop height, lateral stability and immunity to jamming (locking in vertical motion as one side may advance past the other).  If the first few necks are managed to cut, the right side of the blade drops more and it jams.  Much taller system needed with blade side slides longer than the width of the blade.  They did not consult a mechanical engineer.

  • osmanthus
  • Administrator
  • Fingerer of piglets
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #5
If that is to scale I can see at a glance that there is not nearly enough blade weight, blade height at the right side, drop height, lateral stability and immunity to jamming (locking in vertical motion as one side may advance past the other).  If the first few necks are managed to cut, the right side of the blade drops more and it jams.  Much taller system needed with blade side slides longer than the width of the blade.  They did not consult a mechanical engineer.
Those were my immediate thoughts on seeing it. although I think you could get away with not having the blade slides taller than the width of the blade, depending on how it was built. The thing would be to have a stable structure with fairly minimal clearances. The sloppier it gets, the taller the slides would have to be.

And blade weight could be dealt with easily enough, even if it needed extra weight attached, so I don't see that as an issue.
Truth is out of style

  • MikeB
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #6
So we could easily make this work, as long at the Trump camp in in the stocks?  (Yes, rhetorical question).

  • osmanthus
  • Administrator
  • Fingerer of piglets
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #7
Easily. If we can put men on the moon, I'm sure a mega-guillotine is feasible. In fact, I'm surprised the French didn't already make one. It's an obvious next step.
Truth is out of style

  • osmanthus
  • Administrator
  • Fingerer of piglets
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #8
Although there's one possible refinement to the design: a double-sided blade that has the peak of the lower edge in the middle. That way the blade should descend evenly as long as you have an equal number of congressmen each side of the centre.

Since hauling such a large blade up to the top of the slides would require some effect, the obvious solution is to make the congressmen do something useful for a change and help the executioner out. It'd be a fun variation on the old make-them-dig-their-own-graves trick.
Truth is out of style

  • MikeB
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #9
Delete
  • Last Edit: December 28, 2017, 09:19:53 PM by MikeB

  • MikeB
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #10
Nice.  Any suggestions for the very slippery grease for the slides?

Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #11
If that is to scale I can see at a glance that there is not nearly enough blade weight, blade height at the right side, drop height, lateral stability and immunity to jamming (locking in vertical motion as one side may advance past the other).  If the first few necks are managed to cut, the right side of the blade drops more and it jams.  Much taller system needed with blade side slides longer than the width of the blade.  They did not consult a mechanical engineer.
Those were my immediate thoughts on seeing it. although I think you could get away with not having the blade slides taller than the width of the blade, depending on how it was built. The thing would be to have a stable structure with fairly minimal clearances. The sloppier it gets, the taller the slides would have to be.

And blade weight could be dealt with easily enough, even if it needed extra weight attached, so I don't see that as an issue.
Use rollers.
Love is like a magic penny
 if you hold it tight you won't have any
if you give it away you'll have so many
they'll be rolling all over the floor

  • osmanthus
  • Administrator
  • Fingerer of piglets
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #12
Truth is out of style

  • linus
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #13
  If the first few necks are managed to cut, the right side of the blade drops more and it jams.
That makes for great reality TV.

  • el jefe
  • asleep till 2020 or 2024
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #14
fun patent facts:

the patent office building was the only major government building to survive when the British burned Washington in the war of 1812.  the superintendent persuaded the British commander to spare it, because it contained knowledge for the benefit of all mankind.

but don't worry, brits.  we managed to destroy it ourselves, 20 years later.  someone had the bright idea of dumping smoldering ashes next to fire wood, in the basement.  one day, their luck ran out and the embers ignited the wood.  whole place went up in flames.  there was a fire station next door, but they had crappy old equipment and the volunteer firemen who were supposed to work there had been blowing off their duties for years.  so the building just burned to the ground.  guess someone should have invented a better way to dispose of smoldering ashes!

the fire destroyed the first ~10,000 US patents.  there is an effort, continuing to this day, to recover them by finding other copies (mainly duplicates given to the inventors).  we've only found about 1/3, so far.  more trickle in every few years as people find them in old archives and attics, but it's clear most are gone forever.  fortunately, the recovered ones have tended to be the more important inventions - the dumb ones didn't get copied or published as much, nor stored as carefully.

after the fire of 1836, we used a more fire-proof building, and started keeping multiple redundant records.  we also started numbering patents for the first time.  recovered pre-1836 patents have an X in their number and are called the X-series patents.  cue X-Files theme.

Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #15
Here is another fun patent fact:  I fell asleep halfway through the second paragraph of that post.

Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #16
lol you made it to the second paragraph of an el guano post

  • el jefe
  • asleep till 2020 or 2024
Re: el guano/tWe callout
Reply #17
pd is lying.  he made it to the middle of the third paragraph.