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Topic: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing (Read 268 times) previous topic - next topic

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Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
All you have to do is stand there and hold the driver on the ball and pull the special trigger and BLAMO! ... an explosive charge sends the ball flying down the fairway 300 yards perfectly straight.

Here is a picture of Tiger HOLDING HIS CLUB in the special position required for the explosive charge to detonate.



This special driver will transform your game and it can be yours for just $399.99.  Send check or money order to Dave Hawkins.


  • Fenrir
Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #1
Seek help.
It's what plants crave.

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #2
Yes, I think I will.  "Doctor, I have this addiction that I cannot break ... I like arguing with idiots on the internet."

  • Faid
Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #3
Your finger's broken, dave.
Who even made the rule that we cannot group ducks and fish together for the simple reason that they are both aquatic? If I want to group them that way and it serves my purpose then I can jolly well do it however I want to and it is still a nested hierarchy and you can't tell me that it's not.

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #4
Hey, Dave, when Tiger Woods swings a golf club, does he let go of it? If not, then isn't he fucking HOLDING it?

  • SkepticTank
  • Global Moderator
  • Calmer than you are
Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #5
Is there some context that this thread is missing?

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #6
It's because he thought he had a YUGE GOTCHA when I used the word "held" to describe the downward position Trump's hand was in for most of his impression of the disabled reporter. Because apparently you can't "hold" something if it's moving. ::)

  • Pingu
Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #7

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #8
I think we're way past that at this point. I mean really if we wanted to apply that principle it would mean not talking to Dave at all on any subject except possibly his home-building and farming hobbies, and even then only strictly on the increasingly rare occasions when he's being something approaching reasonable about them.

ETA: Which is maybe not the worst idea, honestly.
  • Last Edit: January 19, 2017, 09:36:20 AM by BenTheBiased

  • JonF
Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #9
Well, it's an excellent demonstration of how incredibly stupid his obsession

It is an excellent demonstration of how incredibly stupid his obsession with the Trump collage is.
"I would never consider my evaluation of his work to be fair minded unless I had actually read his own words." - Dave Hawkins

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #10
Well, it's an excellent demonstration of how incredibly stupid his obsession

It is an excellent demonstration of how incredibly stupid his obsession with the Trump collage is.
Probably just a manifestation of the manic phase of his untreated bipolar disorder

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #11
It's because he thought he had a YUGE GOTCHA when I used the word "held" to describe the downward position Trump's hand was in for most of his impression of the disabled reporter. Because apparently you can't "hold" something if it's moving. ::)
Ben said that Trump "held" his hand in a bent over fashion so as to mimic Kovaleski.  Which he didn't. Trump FLAPPED his hand. He didn't HOLD his hand in that position.  And I am allowing for the possibility that perhaps I misunderstood Ben.

But my joke was that Tiger Woods is just HOLDING his driver in position, instead of swinging it.

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #12
::)

  • SkepticTank
  • Global Moderator
  • Calmer than you are
Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #13
It's because he thought he had a YUGE GOTCHA when I used the word "held" to describe the downward position Trump's hand was in for most of his impression of the disabled reporter. Because apparently you can't "hold" something if it's moving. ::)
Ben said that Trump "held" his hand in a bent over fashion so as to mimic Kovaleski.  Which he didn't. Trump FLAPPED his hand. He didn't HOLD his hand in that position.  And I am allowing for the possibility that perhaps I misunderstood Ben.

But my joke was that Tiger Woods is just HOLDING his driver in position, instead of swinging it.

Thanks, yeah I tuned out of that whole Trump mocking Kovaleski thread a long time ago.  Maybe this one should be merged in.

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #14
Tch
"That which can be asserted with evidence can also be dismissed without evidence." (Dave Hawkins)

  • Seven Popes
  • So would the opposite be a good-ger?
Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #15
It's because he thought he had a YUGE GOTCHA when I used the word "held" to describe the downward position Trump's hand was in for most of his impression of the disabled reporter. Because apparently you can't "hold" something if it's moving. ::)
Ben said that Trump "held" his hand in a bent over fashion so as to mimic Kovaleski.  Which he didn't. Trump FLAPPED his hand. He didn't HOLD his hand in that position.  And I am allowing for the possibility that perhaps I misunderstood Ben.

But my joke was that Tiger Woods is just HOLDING his driver in position, instead of swinging it.
"Joke." Oh.
You may hear people saying how fast they can make compost -- some say only a few weeks. Stay away from these people as they don't know what they're talking about. --Humanure handbook

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #16
It's because he thought he had a YUGE GOTCHA when I used the word "held" to describe the downward position Trump's hand was in for most of his impression of the disabled reporter. Because apparently you can't "hold" something if it's moving. ::)
Ben said that Trump "held" his hand in a bent over fashion so as to mimic Kovaleski.  Which he didn't. Trump FLAPPED his hand. He didn't HOLD his hand in that position.  And I am allowing for the possibility that perhaps I misunderstood Ben.

But my joke was that Tiger Woods is just HOLDING his driver in position, instead of swinging it.

Yeah, it would be outrageous to say he was HOLDING his golf club..
 ::)

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #17
 I would mock you... But you seem disabled  based on that comment... So I won't.

Re: Tiger Woods's Special New Driver Doesn't Require a Golf Swing
Reply #18
I would mock you... But you seem disabled  based on that comment... So I won't.
Are you saying tiger Woods doesn't hold his golf club while swinging it?I don't see how holding and swinging/flailing/moving are mutually exclusive.