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Topic: I've returned to Jesus (Read 736 times) previous topic - next topic

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  • MikeS
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #50
The body of christ.  Except you have to roll it around in your mouth until you get out of church.  If you spit it out, WATCH OUT!!!

  • SkepticTank
  • Global Moderator
  • Calmer than you are
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #51
perhaps you had something else in mind, though.

I think all the Holy Prepuces gotten eaten as calamari.

  • grit
  • redolent needling balm
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #52
He left us some DNA samples. I'm pretty sure.
I so hope you aren't referring to the Shroud of Turin, grit.
Pfft, no.   To my understanding the claims about the Shroud are that it's some sort of residual effect of resurrecting. And so leaving us DNA in that occurrence doesn't make a lot of sense to me. So I think that whole theory is flawed.

But, OK, I could be wrong. I mean, I've met folk who claim to have raised the dead, but I'm not so sure I've ever really met any of the reanimated folk, like, "How you do?", to interview about it, if they would even know.  And when I say I could be wrong I mean the thing I'm pretty sure about is that Jesus, like most of us, left little bits of himself wherever he went. Not large chunks, mind you, but enough to scrape together and put in some virgin egg and regrow a baby, just like they're doing with the Mammuthus primigenius (Woolly Heffalump). So if we had some hair or blood stuck in like olive tree amber, then maybe we could clone Jesus and see what he looks like. It's probably a lot of trouble just to say, "Oh, OK", but have you seen all that effort they put into finding both the arks? And they hyped one of those up enough to melt your face off.

But no, there's the possibility that the process of resurrecting gathers together all one's DNA from wherever and puts it all back together. Otherwise the soldier who lost an eye and a leg in the war or had a hand eaten by a crocodile might be a wee miffed, and especially if he were beheaded or burnt at the stake. It's why my mom wants to be buried, but I want to be cremated (more like Half-and-half though, and not real cream). But I think it's like a cloudy grey area. 'Cause when Jesus came back the first time he had scars to show as proofs to his identity ~ "this is what I've been through, this is who I AM". So I'm thinking, yeah, there's Jesus DNA still floating around down here. I mean, olive trees, they're very sappy.

  • nesb
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #53
Just to be clear, we're talking Jurrasic Park, but with Jesus (Jesuses, Jesui?) right?

  • borealis
  • Administrator
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #54
Seems like. And if Jesus actually wandered around the landscape as a human, it's not beyond belief that there's a mosquito or horsefly drowned in tree resin with a bellyful of Jesus blood - much less ancient than Jurassic Park's dinosaurs, too.

  • VoxRat
  • wtactualf
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #55
Seems like. And if Jesus actually wandered around the landscape as a human, it's not beyond belief that there's a mosquito or horsefly drowned in tree resin with a bellyful of Jesus blood - much less ancient than Jurassic Park's dinosaurs, too.
yabbut you know what happens when you try to reconstitute a human and accidentally get some dipterid DNA mixed in...

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"I understand Donald Trump better than many people because I really am a lot like him." - Dave Hawkins

  • grit
  • redolent needling balm
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #56
But dude, the face is still there. They was just speculating about the head. I'm pretty sure.

  • borealis
  • Administrator
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #57
And if you get olive tree DNA mixed in?


  • grit
  • redolent needling balm
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #58
That's why olive branches are a symbol of peace.

Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #59
You've also go to be sure that you get your developmental stuff right too, otherwise...
Why do I bother?

  • gib
  • Global Moderator
Re: I've returned to Jesus
Reply #60


I like Titian's treatment

i'd giver her titians some treatment, phwoooar!
Quote from: Jerome
As liquid urine is denser than the atmosphere, why yes. The urine stream from Putin's penis splashing on Trump's sphincter is easily described with buoyancy, no need for the magical force that no one can explain what it is.